Okay, to be honest. I haven't had a whole lot of relationships up to this point and quite frankly, this scumbag was my first serious relationship. Want another bomb? I gave my virginity to him too. I was so vulnerable, yet I was completely oblivious to that. I was so untouched by a cruel and unforgiving world at this time. Hell, I could have cheated on this guy myself, and not had felt a damn thing. I thought it was love, sure, but it definitely wasn't. I know that now... did I seem like I trailed off a bit there? Yeah? Maybe? Well.. if I did... let me paint the picture for you. It is easy to not feel empathy unless you have something to compare it too. I myself had considered cheating at this point.. but after you reap the actual shit... it fucks with you on a level you gotta be on to understand. It changes you. I was undeniably trusting of this guy when I saw a screenshot of a girl in his phone...that it was "just a friend". I was undeniably trusting of this guy when he had tons of girls on his Facebook messaging and commenting on his timeline. I tried not to overthink the "mmm" sound I heard him make when this girl climbed out of her truck at Wal-mart. I had red flags flying all over the fuckin' place man... I gave him all the damn space he needed and trusted him with everything. I got a message on Facebook one day from a girl who was in that screenshot in his phone... She sent me a screenshot of their messages on Facebook and needless to say... you deny alot of shit.. but a slap in the face, is a slap in the face. I broke up with him...the fucker didn't even try to deny it the next day. Sure..when he got caught... yeah...but he was more pissed off at the fact she betrayed him, than the fact he betrayed me!!! Like what planet did you come from???
After being cheated on:
I have found myself in another serious relation of 2 years. I watch this dude like a hawk. Have I seen some red flags? To be honest... yes. But this time... I am seriously in love with the guy. This time I KNOW I am. I don't trust him. Probably never will... and as far as space is concerned.. I am needy. I NEED to be shown I'm on your mind. I NEED to be shown you care. I NEED your attention... because the last time I gave space..the last time ... I was shown how vulnerable I was and that's a pace I don't wanna be again. I feel like I will never be good enough...I NEED constant reassuring. I am damaged and I know this. He is aware of it too. I have expressed ever despair and shown him that I can't handle being cheated on again... and I am just hoping with each day that, that is enough to spark some loyal integrity. That any 'red flags' I may have saw is purely from my insecurity ... This, is me now. I'm scared. Terrified even. I want nothing more to go back to who I was before and try my luck with a better guy...but I can't.
Why did I write this?
Mainly, because someone that is gonna cheat, is gonna cheat..and the cheated on won't always heal. They will be like me...changed forever... and that's where you come in.
Understand, that if you are gonna take on someone who is emotionally scarred.. you got to really STEP IT UP.
Be there 110%.
Emotionally, mentally, physically...spiritually.
Don't just tell her you love her, show her.
Don't just hangout and jump straight to sex... get to know her.
But when the sex comes...make sure you make her feel like your only and you desire no one else. That she is yours, and you are hers.
Constantly text and talk to her when you're not around...when you're able of course..
And for fucks sake... if she says don't add your ex or a girl she knows likes you or some shit like that on FB... DON'T BE A FUCKING IDIOT. One miss step could destroy your chances of ever fully gaining her trust.
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